How to Thoughtfully Thank Your Child’s Teacher
Thanking your child’s teacher at some point in the school year if you appreciate them is probably a good idea. As a former teacher, I can tell you that there’s nothing more satisfying than receiving a heartfelt thank you from a student or a student’s parent. It is validating to know that our hard work is appreciated and making a difference. I am not a very sentimental person but I still hold on to the special notes I received from students and parents.
Since thank you’s often come at the end of the year I thought it was pertinent to do this post now. Your child’s educator spends probably more time with your child than you do yourself. Teachers help them grow into the people they are today, by keeping them safe and helping them strive. A little thank you goes a long way. However, keep in mind there are more effective ways of saying thank you than others.
As much as we appreciate the sentiment, some ways of saying thank you can be a little…well, let’s just say less meaningful than others.
Gestures that May be Less appreciated when Saying Thank You to Your Child’s Teacher:
1-The Alcohol Gift Card or Bottle
This thank you although a good sentiment can be a little tricky. Some teachers actually do not drink alcohol, and some are in AA. So this gift although thoughtful might not actually serve the intended purpose.
I always felt like parents who gifted alcohol-related gifts were conveying a message of “I understand you need this if you spent the day with my child.” Which sometimes is exactly what they are trying to convey.
It also leaves the teacher in a weird position. If they are happy with the gift then they let students know they like drinking. Which in a high school may lead to some pretty serious rumors.
I had colleagues who truly appreciated this or were fairly uncomfortable with it. If you know the teacher enjoys craft beer or specific wines then this may be perfectly appropriate thank you, just be aware of this duality.
2- The Smell Related Category
This thank-you deals with anything that has a particular smell such as candles, incents, soaps, and perfumes. Honestly, the choice of which products to use for skincare and personal hygiene is pretty personal.
I wouldn’t recommend going down this route especially nowadays. People have sensitive skin, allergies, and various ethical beliefs about these products and your gift may not be appreciated as much as it otherwise could.
For these reasons, I would stay clear of these products.
3- NO MUGS!
This is an ongoing joke between teachers but although a coffee mug is a good safe idea you have to consider that you are not the only one who thought of this neutral gift as a good option. This means teachers may receive anywhere from 2-10 mugs a year. Imagine the mug collection after just a few years of teaching. Please do not purchase coffee mugs, they will often be re-gifted, or donated.
The same goes for coffee/tea products. Some teachers don’t drink any or are very specific about what they like (just like you). A gift of tea to a coffee drinker or vice versa just shows that you have not been paying attention.
That being said coffee/tea could be a good option if you are certain of the teacher’s preference.
3-The Homemade Sweet Treats
The “homemade baked goods” or sweet treats are a thoughtful sentiment for the soul but not for the body. This thank you involves making or purchasing for the teacher a series of baked goods. While it’s a tasty treat, it might not be the most meaningful way to express your gratitude.
Sweets are often at the forefront of this type of thank you and like everyone else teachers are usually mindful of their nutrition. There was a significant amount of teachers dieting at the school I use to work at. They would dread December because of the incredible amount of sweets constantly flowing into the staff room. Yes, I know that self-control belongs to each and everyone one of us but your chosen thank you should not be a burden for the person receiving it.
Plus, it can be a little awkward for the teacher to accept food from a student or their student’s parent. Hygiene, preparation of food, and cooking standards vary tremendously. In addition, we don’t know how the food was handled once it left your house.
I once had two students gift me homemade decorated cookies. They were really cute but they were decorated with permanent marker. Had I not asked I probably would have eaten them (yes I have fairly low hygiene standards when it comes to my students). Unfortunately, homemade goodies brought in by our students are often accepted but not consumed.
If you want to bake something or get a special treat as a thank you, I suggest handing it over to the secretary to display and share in the staff room. This way teachers wishing to indulge can, and those with less interest don’t feel like they are wasting.
4- The Pinterest Thank You
This is the thank you that involves a carefully curated gift basket or homemade craft project. While it’s a thoughtful gesture, it can also be a little overwhelming. Teachers often have limited storage space in their classrooms, and they may not have a place to display or keep all the gifts they receive.
A lot of teachers store their teaching belongings at home from one year to another. They cannot collect crafts as they would need to store and carry them to and from school. You don’t want to thank your child’s teacher by overburdening them with things they cannot use.
5- The Anonymous Thank you
This is the thank you that comes in the form of a mysterious gift or note with no name attached. An elementary teacher may be able to narrow down the culprit but not in high school. While it’s a nice gesture, it can also be a little creepy.
Teachers like to know who they’re communicating with, and receiving a gift or note from an anonymous source can be unsettling. Also, it’s hard to know who to thank for the gift. One of the joys of receiving a thank you is knowing what it is for and from who!
6- The Overdue Thank you
This is the thank you that comes at the very end of the school year, long after the teacher has put in countless hours of work. While it’s better at the end of the year than never, it can also feel a little hollow. Teachers like to know that their hard work is appreciated in the moment, not months after the fact.
If your child’s teacher does something meaningful for your child do not hesitate to Send a thank you note when it happens. There is no need to wait until Christmas or the end of the year to show your appreciation. It is a nice surprise to receive a spontaneous thank you from a parent after going above and beyond for a student.
7- The backhanded Thank You
This is the thank you that’s less of a thank you and more of a criticism disguised as praise. It might sound something like, “Thanks for doing a good job, but I think you could have challenged my child more.” While it’s important to provide feedback to teachers, it’s also important to do so in a respectful and constructive manner.
A thank you should be genuine, honest, and heartfelt. If it isn’t it can sometimes do more harm than good.
Tips to follow to Thank your Child’s Teacher
So, what’s the best way to thank your child’s teacher?
Here are a few tips from a former teacher:
Keep it Simple
A heartfelt thank you note or email can go a long way in expressing your gratitude. You don’t need to go overboard with gifts or gestures.
Be specific
If there’s something in particular that the teacher did that you appreciated, be sure to mention it. It shows that you’re paying attention and that their hard work didn’t go unnoticed.
Remember the Little Things that you want to say thank you for
Teachers often go above and beyond for their students, whether it’s staying late to help with homework or bringing in extra supplies. Acknowledging that they put a lot of themself into their work to help your child strive is one of the greatest thank yous.
If you must give something: Gift cards are the best
If you feel a gift is necessary gift cards from a neutral place like Amazon, a pharmacy, a grocery store or a mall are always good options.
Involve your Child
Involve your child and have them personally hand the thank you gift to the teacher. It can be awkward to give an adult a gift especially when you are not consulted on its content.
Your child holds a special bond with their teacher and they probably have a pretty good insight on what they like. Gratitude is one of many ways that we can foster more positive connections with those around us. Consult your child about the teacher’s preferences and personality to make the thank you more meaningful.
Also, have them hand the thank you in person to the teacher. This allows them to experience the joy of giving and gives them an opportunity to connect with their teacher.
Thank yous are always Appreciated
Remember, the goal is to communicate your gratitude for the teacher going above and beyond for your child. Don’t do it because you feel obliged to. Do it because you truly are grateful for what the teacher did. The thank you does not have to be a “gift.” a Kind note often hits the spot just right!
Not every parent shows their gratitude and there may be years when you are not grateful for the teacher your child had. Or perhaps you don’t have time or money to spend on a gift for your child. That’s ok. No one is expecting a thank you. Teachers are just doing the best that they can.
No teacher that I know will penalize their student for not being grateful and your lack of gratitude will not reflect poorly on your child. Honestly, teachers are so busy and burned out at the end of the year that a gesture of gratitude will lighten their day but they are not expecting it.
Finally, don’t forget that teachers are “normal” people. You should thank them in the same way you would want to be thanked. We can all use a little more gratefulness in our lives.
If you want more accounts from teachers on their best and worst gifts check out this article from the Globe and Mail.
