Striving to Seize the Chaotic Mess With Stickers

The Wonderful World of Stickers

My kids love stickers and they tend to put them in very strange places. Here is an account of how I used a strangely placed spaceship to help me strive to seize chaotic messes.

I don’t know about you but when I was a kid I use to love stickers.  Choosing the right sticker for the right occasion, having to find the right corner to pull on to peel it off the glossy sheet. Carefully selecting its new location and then permanently pushing down on all of its edges.

You see,  I grew up in an abnormally clean house, and so stickers were a special occasion for chaos. But controlled chaos, I was only allowed to put them on the sheet given to me. Their purpose was to be removed from one sheet and put on another.

 I’m still a newish mom, my oldest is three and a half and my second just turned two. I can proudly say I have sticker lovers in my house. The excitement of having stickers and trying to decide where to put them is a special kind of magic that can only be witnessed and not explained.

Of course, I love that my kids love stickers. They like to put them everywhere where they shouldn’t be. Nonetheless, it requires a lot of intention and self-control for me not to sit my boys down at a table with a white piece of paper like my parents use to do in order to avoid the chaotic mess.

Abnormally Clean Living Spaces

I’m still struggling with not trying to maintain the level of cleanliness I grew up with. It is an impossible standard to follow. My mom cleaned the house religiously every Thursday night. She spent her entire evening scrubbing down the house from top to bottom, scrubbing dusting, vacuuming, and mopping. She never asked for help and we never offered.

My sister and I always wondered why she was cleaning an already clean house. Honestly, as teenagers, we just thought it was an annoying habit. Looking back now I see how disciplined my mom needed to be to maintain the household in such an organized and clean fashion.

The Mess will Always Be There

As an adult, I definitely struggle with things being disorganized and dirty. What encourages me to clean is that the chaotic mess is overbearing and I can’t seem to focus on anything else. My mom to this day actually really likes cleaning, she gets satisfaction out of a perfectly clean space. Her standards are as high as ever. I spent a significant amount of time in my adult life trying to live up to those standards but I realize now that our motivations come from a very different place, and so does our satisfaction.

You can imagine my surprise when I was in my shower a few days ago and I turned my head to find a little spaceship sticker stuck to the side of the wall just above the bath. How did this marvel even get there? Even more surprising is the fact that it has now been there for a few days and instead of having the urge to pluck it off and chuck it away to restore the perfectly clean standard, I left it there. I find myself smiling and feeling hopeful every day that I shower and it is still there.

Making Memories Instead of Cleaning The Chaotic Mess

Everyone keeps telling us that our kids are small and that they will only be small for so long. To enjoy it. Yes, of course! Having two toddlers has its share of magical moments and some less magical ones. But I am trying to be more present and trying to enjoy the marvel that their innocent eyes see.

Their vision is so full of hope, creativity, and awe. That’s why every time I see the spaceship, it makes me happy to know one of my kids put it there in a moment of pure joy. I’m reminded that although I feel like there is a lot I have to work on as a mom, my kids are comfortable putting stickers on something other than a white piece of paper. Their Inner child is strong, happy, and present.

Having a messy house is not a failure for me, it’s a victory. It means I am parenting my kids by putting their needs first. That their growth, fun, and exploration are more of a priority than trying to reach unattainable standards of cleanliness. I realized the cleanliness standard came from trying to live up to the standards of my mom when I was growing up.

Choosing to be Different

My mom was a true superhero. She did it all, the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the house organization all while working full-time. However, she was busy, too busy to really connect with us. She didn’t spend tons of quality time with us since she was busy maintaining a very high standard of “order.” We never missed anything except her presence.

I realize that I may have different priorities than my mom did. I am Striving for a little less cleaning and organization and a little more presence. Recently I saw a sign that said, “Sorry for the mess, we are busy making memories.” And it is damn accurate!

Pinterest Perfect

Social Media Perfect the opposite of embracing the Chaotic Mess

The pressures put on parents these days are incredible. We forget sometimes that we are trying to live up to expectations we don’t even value ourselves. Just out of habit. I’m always trying to do right by my old demons and expectations while also fighting them.

I am the kind of mom who loves going outside with rain boots and a full raincoat onesie and getting my kids all excited about joining me in some heavy-duty puddle jumping. Or baking cookies with the kids and making a giant cloud of flour that only seems to settle back down on the couch.

All this to say it took me a while to get here and I still struggle on some days. Learning to embrace the chaotic mess is a work in progress. Know that if you are struggling to keep your house “Pinterest,” perfect, I hear you, but you’re the one putting all the pressure on yourself from years of exposure.

Knowing that the expectation is there is the first step to freeing yourself from it. Being worried about the energy and time it will take to clean the mess robs us of some really exciting memories. Our kids don’t see the world through our lens and we are wise to follow their lead sometimes. They are agents of chaos and stickers are just one of the many reminders.